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Goblin's Game
"I ham lieu king foe dee own her, mass stir Gobland,"? I say in as clear a voice as I can, trying my best to sound like a New Yorker, and not another Euro-immigrant girl that didn't learn the language before risking fate to navigate across the lake and forsake forced fate to freedom's flight.
"You found him, Miss Daydreamer. You okay lady?" a voice answers me from behind the desk nearest the entry, almost startling me as I navigate back to my surroundings from my momentary daydream.
"Ewe? Ewer gob land? I'm a new sore! Use, err, hair Masser Gobland?"? I barely squeeze out among stutters caused from the nervousness of my accent overpowering my speech while meeting the great master. With 176 victims just last year alone in his latest verbal battle that ended in rogue violence; the local militia surrendered a small fortune to Master Goblin as compensation, which ended the bloody feud. Really though, the fortune paid was more of a payoff to get him to stop winning so many battles and injuring so many victims in the process.
"You sound surprised," he says.
"Hi, on east Lee am, sir, prized, Eye thaw two'd Bibi grr,"? I say quite boldly, my accent less strong as I calm down, realizing this most likely is someone pretending to be Master Goblin. Either way, I'm assuming the master, or whoever this man is, would show restraint against hitting a helpless young girl.
"I'm wearing loose clothes, and I am big where it matters," he states.
"Oh, where's that?" I ask, assuming this guy is just going to reply with some corny line about his privates.
"...like in my forearms and ankles," he replies, chuckling a little to himself at the response he can foresee heading back his way.
"Big ankles?" I ask.
He nods confirmation.
"Come on!, I respond, "I'm looking for a kungfu master, not a king's fool disaster. Do you know when he'll be back or not?" I demand to know.
"I do!," he responds, "He should be back from the dark market in ten minutes. He left here an hour ago, so maybe another ten minutes. He said he was going to hurry back," Master Goblin answers.
(Find out why he lied to her by clicking here.)
"What? Is he traveling at light speed?" I ask sarcastically.
"Light doesn't have a speed," he answers quite literally.
"Huh?" I accidentally release in a mild scoff, mocking his physics knowledge with contempt. though I think I remember learning something about that in Physics class last year.
"Light continually accelerates, therefore it has no speed," he insists.
"It's just an expression. I knew light has no speed," I reply, "I think..."
"...so the rate is immediately exponentiated continuously," he continues, seeing my doubt on the subject as an opportunity to teach me if I stay interested on the topic.
"Oh, right! That's why we think light moves so fast, right?" I ask, surprised at the stranger's intelligence, given that he was pretending to be the master just moments ago.
"Correct! But really though, light's starting velocity is too slow to measure," he adds.
"Now that, I don't remember," I say.
"well, since it always accelerates exponentially in mere microseconds, by the time one second has passed, a beam of light can stretch around the whole globe," he explains.
"You mean travel right? Not stretch?" I ask.
"Light doesn't travel, it stretches," he insists.
I squint as my head automatically shakes in disbelief.
"Especially when there is only lack of existence separating objects, like the empty void of space," he continues to impart his wisdom, "in that case, it stretches against the polar dimensional shift until the void gives way to matter, then the light ports across the emptiness, which is why space appears dark even though it should be filled with microscopic particles of light, which would otherwise fill every square inch of the sky with blindingly bright light all the time."
"Oh yeah, that makes sense," I admit.
"That's how we travel through empty space nowadays," he explains, revealing wisdom typically limited to true Zensters, who hold the secrets of time travel through space.
"When there is matter and atmosphere," he concludes, "light appears to travel rather than stretch, but that is because the particles are always accelerating as the waves expand its scope."
"Height ink eye ream amber lure nun diss sink lass tear ha go, bud hid nah veer eel lease tuck,"? I say nervously again, but then clear my throat and say, "I guess I'm not a science gal as much as I am a spiritual being."
"I see when you get nervous, your young city accent comes through a lot thicker," he says.
"Yeah," I say humbly, reserving my words, but the nervousness is already apparent.
"I was in the grocery the other day, and when the clerk said, 'here's your change,' the lady in front of me in line glanced over at me with a smirk and under her breath, she snickered, "I hate change," as if to impress me with her double entendre play on the two meanings of change. I guess she recognized me as Master Goblin, renowned for my ability to incite changes in men."
"Hate is bad," I try to agree with him, hoping to appear as if I understood where this change in topic came from.
But then he disagrees back at me, "it's not bad, it's sad, it's actually quite sad in deed," the master corrects.
"Don't you mean indeed?" I ask, attempting to turn the tides in my favor, but still confused about his intentions of the topic.
"No I do not," he corrects me, "'In deed' means 'while engaged in a task' and is an adjectival phrase whereas 'indeed' means 'most definitely' and is an adverb."
"Will if eel I can a rogue ant jar calf oared Ryan took ear ache too,"? I admit.
"When the lady tried to sound slick about not liking changes, regardless of whether they are for the better or not, as she tossed the change from the clerk into her purse, I felt quite sad for her," he explains.
"Why?" I ask quite nervously.
"Because change is the only guarantee in life. It is the one constant; a true characteristic shared among all of existence. Change is everything," he explains.
"Right?" I ask quite ignorantly.
"So it's sad that the woman hates everything, isn't...?" the master asks, revealing his intelligence is not limited to speeds of light and other physics matters.
"Waiter!"? I shout out, interrupting him.
"When you stop trying to be the teacher, then you can finally become a student and in so doing, become capable of teaching others the same secret of becoming a master like me," the Master Goblin self-righteously projects his will power against my mind as a preview to his darker side, a path filled with promises of pain, fueled from ferocious slaughters of enemies and innocents alike with complete disregard for the sanctity of life, yet protected under the martial laws governing over the kingdom, while the tournament for the memory of Master Lin awaits to secretly coronate with more prizes than just a school and an estate, but the masses will not be aware of the fate the king wants to make by giving great responsibility to the winner of the take, a coronation as the king's left arm of justice, royalty by divine providence.
The bounty is said to already equal enough rare emeralds to start my own planet, but I could never defeat such lightning fast expert kungfu artists like the newly designated Master Chen or the famous enemy of Satan, the great goblin master, or any of the contestants, one of which now honors me with his presence and attention I realize.
"Waiter, ewe the grape massed turd oblong?"? I ask, getting nervous once again after realizing I might have just upset a dangerous kungfu master.
"I told you I was," he asserts.
"Annoy use head heed be I'm in hued beeb Atkin twin team in its,"? I disagree.
"You didn't believe me, so I lied," he attempts to diffuse.
"Ewe well eyed beek Oz high dud hint bell eve that Ruth?"? I say very slowly and careful of the words I choose now.
"Well, maybe I needed time," he admits.
"knee dud dime?"?
(This is why he lied. Click to Return to the Previous Section)
"Because I knew that if you only had to wait up to a maximum of 25 to 30 minutes, then you would stay and allow me the opportunity to decide if you are worthy of becoming my student. Now? Choose a doorway..." Goblin insisted
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(More soon...)
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